


My Immortal

by Rambo_Jewsters



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anger, Father-Daughter Relationship, Ghost Drifting, Grief, Loss, One Shot, Other, Pain, Sad, Song fic, first person POV, paternal loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:19:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6808648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rambo_Jewsters/pseuds/Rambo_Jewsters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set to Evanescence: My Immortal<br/>Reader returns from yet another failed expedition, consumed by her grief<br/>from the loss of her father on a previous expedition, but is she aware that <br/>he is still with her?<br/>(Also on deviantart: Rambo-Jewsters)</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Immortal

Listen as you read: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu7QvOQKcKk

Readers POV:

“I’m so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears.”

Another expedition was at an end, I slowly trudged back to my office with my head bowed.  
My cloak and uniform stained with the blood of my comrades, we were fighting a losing battle.   
Once again our numbers had been culled, so many brave soldiers who had ventured out beyond the walls to face their fears had their lives cut short by the very monsters that kept us trapped like cattle in a pen, I began to fear I would never live to finally taste true freedom.

“And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave. ‘Cause your presence still lingers here and it won’t leave me alone.”

I finally made it back to my office.  
I closed the door behind me and removed my cloak, glaring at the sigil on the back.  
“Wings of Freedom indeed!” I spat, throwing it across the room. “We’ll never be free!”  
I’d all but given up after he left me.  
Well at least that’s what it felt like to me, I knew he was no longer there for me.   
Despite this I could still feel him beside me, every time I walked into my office I could feel his cold grey eyes observing my every move.

“These wounds won’t seem to heal, this pain is just too real. There’s just too much that time cannot erase.”

I slumped down into my seat and buried my head in my hands, hot tears filled my eyes and streamed down my face as memories of that day filled my mind.  
Physically I felt numb, mentally...I felt dead inside.  
They say time heals all wounds, but not mine…

Levi’s POV:

“When you cried I’d wipe away all your tears.”

I stood in the office watching her with a frown on my face.  
For someone who was once so strong, she seems so fragile now...I hate what I’ve done to her.  
She leans back in her seat and uncovers her face, I grit my teeth angrily when I see her tears.  
It pains me knowing that it was me who caused them and this time, I couldn’t hold her close and rid her of them the way I did when she was just a brat.

“When you’d scream, I’d fight away all of your fears.”

Everytime she had nightmares I’d be there for her to chase away her fear so she could sleep soundly again, I kept her safe in my arms where they couldn’t reach her.   
Now the fears and the nightmares haunted her and there was nothing I could do to help her anymore. This was a fight she’d now have to endure alone.

“I held your hand through all of these years.”

For twenty five years we were almost inseparable, I remember it well.  
I taught her how to use ODM Gear, I trained her to fight.  
Then came the days we went on expeditions together in the same squad, we fought alongside each other. We celebrated each victory and mourned the loss of each comrade. Together.

“And you still have...all of me.”

I was always bound to her from the moment I first met her.  
That is the one thing that will never change...no matter what happens.

Reader’s POV:

“You used to captivate me by your resonating light.”

He was always so strong and confident, I looked up to him...I wanted to be just like him.  
I was proud of him and did everything I could to make him proud of me.

“Now I’m bound by the life you left behind.”

Now when I return from expeditions it is I who receives the hero worship, I who is referred to as “Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.”  
I now claim that title...a title I never wanted or feel like I deserve.  
I don’t feel worthy of it, I’m not as strong as people think…

“Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams.”

Every time I close my eyes, he’s all that I can see,   
I can’t escape him, even in sleep.   
I can still feel his cold grey eyes watching my every move as my comrades and I enjoy finally being able to go beyond the walls without the ever present threat of the titans.  
However it will always be just a dream to me.

“Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me.”

I still hear his voice calling my name, a sound I once loved.  
He would return from an expedition and call for me, I would run to him and throw myself into his arms and hold on or my life.  
Now, every time I remember that naturally bored tone I feel dead inside.   
I feel like if I ever heard it again I would break, it’s amazing how one little thing such as this can bring down the walls of someone’s sanity and chase it away, the way light chases away a shadow…

“These wounds won’t seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There’s just too much that time cannot erase.”

Levi’s POV:

“When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears.”

I watch as she stands up and walks towards me, tears still falling from her e/c eyes.  
My frown deepens as she stops in front of me and stares directly into my eyes, her shoulders are shaking as I gently reach out to her and cup her face in my hands, running my thumbs along her cheeks to rid her of her tears.

“When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears.”

She turns away and holds back another cry of anguish.  
She wants to stay strong, but I can see her reaching her limits.   
I wish I could stand with her and fight away her fears like I did in the past, but that is no longer possible. Why did I have to hurt her this way?

“I held you hand through all of these years.”

I walked towards her and reached for her hand, tightly grasping it in mine.  
She doesn’t react the way she used to, not anymore.   
She won’t even look at me.

“And you still have all of me.”

I cannot leave her...I WON’T leave her.

Reader’s POV:

“I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone.”

I walked back to my desk, wiping away my tears and drawing a deep breath.  
I reached for one of the drawers and pulled it open, retrieving an object from it.  
A white cravat.  
My lower lip trembles as I look at it, the tears fall before I can stop them.

“But though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along.”

I carefully folded the soft white fabric and brought it up to my face.  
I inhaled the faint scent of him that still clung to it: black tea and natural musk.  
It was all I had left of him...that and my memories that kept him with me in my heart and in my mind.   
However I knew I was still alone, even as I now sat in my office...the office that had once belonged to him and was reassigned to me after his death.

Levi’s POV:

“When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears.”

I know I can no longer comfort her, what good can a ghost do?  
I can’t physically touch her anymore to comfort her.  
It doesn’t stop me going through the motions though, as she raises her head from my old cravat I walk towards her and and reach out for her, once again trying to rid her of her tears.

When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears.”

I know she fears she will never be free of the titans, I may no longer be here...physically here, but I will continue to help her fight those fears, even though she only screams internally on the battlefield, I still hear them.

“And I held your hand through all of these years.”

I watch as she places one hand on the desk.  
I stare at her and place my hand on hers, does she know I’m there?  
Her hand moves and seems to tightly grip mine, although I know deep down she is merely clenching her fist.

“And you still have all of me.”

My name was Captain Levi Ackerman of the Survey Corps, Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.  
Squad Leader f/n Ackerman is my daughter.  
As long as she is alive, I will never be truly dead.


End file.
